Parents can both construct as well as destruct the future of their children

It’s said, that humans should expect least from each other, because, it’s in human nature to betray and deceive each other, but if we talk about parents in isolation, the only social relationship on the divine earth, the reliable and pure relation where we can think of expectations because parents don’t know the language of market value, profit maximisation and a good rate of return especially when it comes about their children. They are the Guardian Angels of their children and whatever they do for their children, it’s always devoid of reason and any condition.

Well , one of my favourite philosophers, Karl Marx, said, “Every social relationship is an economic relationship”.This is quite true but i believe, it’s not applicable on parents who give their best and act as a divine guardians for their child without thinking in economic terms.

But hold on, and take a deep breath, because what I said above, is not the story of every child. What I believe is this, that children need the attention, care, love and not the comparisons from their parents. When a child becomes a grown up adult, the stage itself becomes so unique and at that time the need of the hour for an adult is to get full support and courage from his/her parents and no matter what’s his/her stage but at the end he/she remains a child for his/her parents but if the child is facing comparisons right from his/her childhood, then the child may develop an inferiority complex and will develop a negative personality and in the future it will lead to,

Lack of confidence

Lack of expressions

Less emotional

Unsocial

and may be a rebel in the future.

How too much criticism by the parents can ruin the future of their child?

Criticism sounds good, if it’s in a constructive way, but too much criticism by parents can ruin the mind and personality of a child. Finding out only faults in a child will end up in a very disastrous way in the future for him/her.Criticising a child repeatedly will be like criticising an adult so many times, because in the future the former is going to transform into a well matured adult and another important thing is this, the child later on will base his/her opinions on the opinions of his/her parents.

The worst feeling on the earth will be the aggressive and disheartened reactions or the constantly expressed disappointments from the parents which is a simple way of feeling rejection, unheard, abandonment, helplessness as well as hopelessness and even a huge depression.

Even Research says that parents who use strict and authoritarian styles of parenting can produce children with less self esteem and immoral behaviour as compare to those children who are less criticised by their parents.

Philosophical view

Respect is also a social construction which is entitled only for the elders, but I believe it should be equally entitled for all human beings. This type of mindset is more common in Asian culture where, when the elders discuss, children are not allowed to interrupt and to give their views, well, may be the little flowers may have the better ideas than the elders.

Rousseau, Genevan Philosopher, father of French Revolution emphasised on the free will of a child, as it is common in Asian culture, where parents only focus on educating their children but forget to focus on educating their mind and exploring their potentialities. It’s said by Rousseau,

“Instead of making a child stick to his books, employ him/her in a workshop where his/her hands will work to the profit of his /her mind. Here comes, a huge responsibility for parents, and it’s up to them whether to enhance or demoralise their children , because children are their responsibility and not the liability.

Another stage comes, when a child fights against the vision of his/her parents in order to eradicate the burden of their judgements on him/ her, may be this rebellion might feel good for a while, it will be like you are reviving yourself and you have become powerful and strong enough, but the truth is clear, it’s often more destructive than constructive, and in doing all this, the child loses his/her real self.

“For a child, the parents are the first and the last hope and it’s true children behave the worst when they need their parents the most as they are the single greatest influence on children. Parents should try to speak and interact with their children, because a child is the wisest, kindest, most beautiful and magical human on earth, for what he/she believe is, for what he/she will become”.

Qurat.